Purpose in Prayer at LFA
posted Thursday, July 15th, 2010 (1 Comment)
In March of 2008, I was born again. I frequently look back on this day as the ‘brightest light’ day of my life. I would not have made it to today without much prayer. When I first started my new journey, I was intrigued on how to pray but really did not know how. When I came to LFA (then CMA) in that spring of 2008, a new group of prayer meetings started.
My first answered prayer.
Well, I went to my very first prayer meeting at 6:30am on a Thursday. I knew no-one. I was a newbie. Fresh and new, still smelling like baby powder. There were many people – dozens upon dozens (ok, not really – maybe 10 or so).
My mind was racing. I thought they were all looking at me and were thinking:
“Who is this guy?”,
“I’ve never seen him before”,
“Is he a member?”,
“Why doesn’t he have a Bible?
And
“Why does he smell like baby powder?”
As you can imagine, my thoughts were non-stop asking myself never ending questions like:
What was this going to be like?
What am I supposed to say?
How am I supposed to say it?
How come there are no pews, where is the cross and Holy Water? help!
[For those of you who do not know the basics of the prayer groups, in the course of the whole hour, we may discuss a topic and then 10 minutes of prayer and then a bit more discussion and back to 10 minutes of prayer.]
So we get to our theme (I was so stressed at the time so I don’t remember the theme) and then we were each offered the opportunity to pray. What does that mean? Am I supposed to say something or not? Do we go in order? Who leads? How do you know when a person is finished? What if two people start at the same time – does someone apologize? What’s the order – age before beauty? Oh! I was so, so confused – I was shaking.
We seemed to invest what appeared to be about 10-20 hours in prayer. Everyone in the group was going, taking turns with a focus on the topic, so I thought. You see, sometimes someone takes the prayers off topic or theme. Well, this is when I really started to panic.
Listen to a typical conversation I had in my head while prayer was going on:
- Uh oh, What was that topic again?
- Should I put me head down or up?
- Why is she on the floor? Look at him! He’s walking around…
- Whew, good thing someone went first, it should be easy from now on.
- Wow, nice words… well put…buddy!
- Interesting, does God really answer that kind of prayer?
- Wait a second, that wasn’t part of the topic? Can you do that? Can you change right in the middle? Someone stop her!
- Now what? I was prepared. I rehearsed, laid out this beautiful well-placed prayer on the topic. Maybe we will go back. Lets see…
- No, No – go back to the topic. Go back, go back, nooo…
- Ah, man – (now I start to sweat – profusely)
- This is not ok, I can’t relate to the new topic – what do I do? How embarrassing!
- Ok, I thought of something, let’s see…
- Wow, am I sweating or what? I am soaked. And it’s not even hot out…
- I hope no-one sees me sweating like this… hey, I can leave now while everyone’s eyes are closed and maybe they won’t see me.
- Hmmm! If I get caught looking around while we pray will someone point me out…?
- Great! Back to discussion – whew. Now I can breathe.
- Oh! Man, the baby powder is not working…
Needless to say, I did not get to pray. In fact, I went back three times before I actually said a prayer. And yes, it was a well laid out grammatically correct prayer with complicated, special words that sounded real pretty. And I think I did a spell check in my head – just in case.
Well, I did it, I said it, I prayed in front of other people.
Yet, it was all wrong. It did not come out the way I rehearsed – but it was ok. Yeah… it was ok.
Do you want to know what was really nice, pleasant and wonderful – the people – the people actually spoke to me after prayer and wanted to know a little bit about me. Even though in my mind, I thought I messed up.
You see, my purpose for writing this self-parody, however true, is to thank God for Living Faith Alliance Church and for starting the prayer groups. Even though I was not a regular, I did pray on many of the mornings throughout the two years, especially during a very deep valley that could have been disastrous if God was not in my in my life. I made friends in Christ as I grew. I grew in confidence and humility, strength and wisdom to stand firm with a full body of armor, shield in hand fighting in God’s army – with our greatest weapon – prayer. You know what else I found out – guys, men, dads – it’s ok to cry in front of others. For all of my teen and adult years, I never cried. Now I cry at the drop of a hat… go ahead, drop one.
Today, July 14, 2010, I found out that the prayer group was cancelled after two years. It is my desire that LFA, it’s leaders, especially the prayer group leaders, and the community to know that for me and my relationship with Christ, the prayer groups single handedly helped me to grow in Christ and with His people both in the LFA community and the world.
As a result, I am now volunteering with two local hospitals, one being a hospice center, praying with, for and over people on a weekly basis, as well as praying in the local community. Prayer is a regular part of every part of my day. With no rehearsals, no specific words – only special words for special people, God’s people – and it all comes from a servants heart, lightly coated in baby powder.
I thank God for pointing me to Living Faith Alliance Church – without whom I would not be the servant I am today. Praise Jesus Christ whose blood washes away my pride so I can see the true light of the cross in every one I serve.
Oh, the baby powder thing…
I renew everyday like a newborn child:
Mathew 19:14,
Mark 10:15
and a beautiful verse: 1 Peter 2:2
My next piece is on the growth of my singing – Charlie and Lois move over ….
With Peace and Love In Christ To All
Christopher Smith
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by Diego
On July 21, 2010 at 11:19 am
Chris, thank you for sharing the impact that praying in community has had on your life. Your piece kept me engaged!